Why don’t parents talk about bedwetting?

Parents don’t seem to talk a lot about their child’s bedwetting with other parents for a variety of reasons.  With the Internet, however, more and more parents are going online to participate in forums with other parents while remaining behind a “cloak of anonymity” so people don’t know the names of their children or of themselves.

Many parents see their child’s bedwetting as their own failure.  They internalize it and wonder what they could have done wrong.  Still others may see it as something their children have failed on.  They look at at bedwetting as a developmental problem and something to hide.  Some parents talk their children up so much to other parents about how they are the “perfect son” or “perfect daughter” and then are truly embarassed when their child wets the bed, especially when their child may have been the first to walk, talk and have other developmental milestones earlier than other children.

It may be easy for us to tell you that bedwetting is common, and there is no need to keep it a secret, but talking about your child’s bedwetting on Facebook or other social networks would be devastating.  Discussing your child’s bedwetting out in the open with other parents and children your child knows can be difficult on your child’s self-esteem and should be avoided.

Believe it or not, some parents don’t even mention their child’s bedwetting to their pediatrician. Mentioning it at a physical exam can help put your child at ease in many ways. First, the child will know that it is infact a medical condition, and not just because they are lazy, immature, or their fault. Second, the doctor may have some questions she asks to determine if there are any dietary issues that may be contributing to your child wetting the bed.  If not, the doctor will be able to do additional tests to see if the bedwetting is a symptom of another problem such as enlarged adenoids or sleep apnea.

While bedwetting is nothing to be ashamed of, shouting it from the rooftops to other parents and your child’s friends through social networks should be avoided.  If you happen to know another parent and child are going through the same thing, that would be a great chance to perhaps talk to them one on one.  Getting the “ok” from your child wouldn’t hurt here either.